A year ago today ....

.... I woke up through puffy eyes and picked my head up off my tear stained pillow and wrestled with the thought "this is my new reality". 

-- I didn't have my "own" home, but had a home, the best I could ask for in this season.
-- It was Sunday and the church I had come to love was 80+ miles away.
-- I was physically exhausted from days of packing my apartment and fitting my life in a 12x12 storage unit.
-- My mind was still so confused over a boy who lied to me.
-- My heart was sad over my grandfather's ailing health.
-- I had a vague idea of a plan of what to do. 

But, a year later ... I couldn't imagine I would be where I am, and couldn't have planned it better for myself if I tried. 

I know that a man will not lie to me.  He will be intentional in pursuit of me, be truthful and not leave my mind questioning.  One of the most important lesson in relationships of any kind is to let your yes be yes and your no be no.  There are times when "gray" doesn't work, and in those times, no matter how hard, there needs to be difinitive converstion and intention.  It applies to friendships, families and male/female relationships. 

My grandfather passed from this life to eternity with Jesus and I lost the last grandparent  I had.  I was so lucky to have known my grandparents, to have known my great-grandparents and to have memories with them.  The greatest lesson he taught me was to be satisfied with your life so at the end of your life you are content, there is nothing to fight, reconcile or complete. 

So many times the world bases your worth on "what you do".  Answering that questions in seasons when I was laid off was one of the hardest things.  I have learned it is not the lead off question in conversation because at the end of the day what you do doesn't matter to me.  I wish for you that you are happy, content and enjoy what you do.  I want to hear about your profession and understand what you do, but not because it makes or breaks your worth to me.  What you do is such a small part of who you are.

The thing that amazes me most is the people who tell me they are "jealous" of me or "wish" they could do what I am doing.  I usually just smile, but sometimes I want to reply "Really, I don't have a home of my own, I live out of a suitcase, I am single, I miss my friends, I don't know what tomorrow holds."; but instead I smile.  This life is a crazy adventure, that I have learned more than ever to take day by day.  I don't know what tomorrow holds.  Neither do you.  None of us are guaranteed.  I do know I have hope for tomorrow and faith that will sustain me always through every season of this life that I am blessed to live!  

Be well and carry on friends.  One day at a time. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:33-34

After my first solo cross country road trip!


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